The Things We Leave Behind.

Underneath my bed, as well as stuffed into the back of my closet you will find bins of old notebooks. These books are years, decades worth of journals, my whole life almost written sometimes in a frantic mess, smudged from tears, other entries neat and orderly. All the ups and all the downs,  I sleep soundly on top of the pages of my past. 

Journaling has been a way for me to find clarity, express myself, process things, remember moments, and is a wellspring of inspiration for creative projects. 

Sometimes it is really hard to flip through some old entries, especially during times that I maybe wasn’t making the best choices. Or I was a little too enthusiastic about a person or opportunity that ended up being quite detrimental to my well-being. It’s hard sometimes not to judge myself with the knowledge I have now of how things turned out. 

But it’s worth it, to keep sometimes those moments of poor discernment fresh, to stay aware of the places you have let yourself down before. Maybe gain awareness over my blind spots, my weaknesses, and where I tend to circle back to making the same mistakes. 

I often think about what I contribute to the world. What will I leave behind? And if I gave one thing what would it be? As much as I have loved photography, I think the driving motivation behind many of my photos is the expression, and the self awareness that I brought to it, not the imagery itself. These aspects are even better explored through journaling. 

I don’t want to give people empty experiences. Dazzling the senses for an afternoon and making something hollow look aesthetic. It’s great to have a good time, a fun photoshoot or a class learning to do a craft is enjoyable. But it’s not necessarily life-changing. Journaling and learning to write about your experiences, reflect on them, record your life, the good and the bad -- capturing the lost days, moments, memories and internal experiences that otherwise fade into oblivion, that is something I would want to give people. 

In my journals I have all the love I ever felt. All the people that have caused me pain, all the times I was utterly alone, rock bottom and starting over. I can read through every transformation I have had, and there have been a few. The dreams I otherwise would have forgotten.

Life – reduced to sticky ink on thin lined papers. 

Because journaling has brought me so much clarity and grounding through every season of life, I want to help others build that same practice. That’s why I am putting together a journaling workshop . Maybe I will turn it into Youtube videos or write more about it on this blog. I feel this passion is worth sharing. If you are local and interested. Check out my events page for more information.